She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
