it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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