you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
