Your face is a jimmy john
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
