friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
