i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
