I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize