K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
