this beer tastes like vomit already
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
