It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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