So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
