Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize