Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
