oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
