you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
