i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
ok first of all what the fuck
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
