It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
