You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
