Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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