I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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