he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize