But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
there's paper in my vomit.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
