I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
