K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
