If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
