I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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