I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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