haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
