My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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