Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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