She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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