Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
