i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
