if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
