and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
