The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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