I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
