I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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