I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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