Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
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