it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
She needs sedatives and a leash
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
