If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
