idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
vagina is talking i cant
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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