yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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