I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
