Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
