why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
