He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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