you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
