Where did you get a picture of my penis
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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