i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
