why didn't you poke me back
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
