he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
pray to the hookup gods
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
