She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
