im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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