This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
