i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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