dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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