uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
