dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize