Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
