She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
a search helicopter?!
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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