ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
