idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
