I love having hate sex.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
