bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize