She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
