He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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