Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
