If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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