I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
